About three weeks or so ago – since my last blog post really I suppose – my brain decided to turn off for a bit.

I couldn’t concentrate, think straight, or even start a sentence. My memory, poor as it is, stopped being any real use to me too.

I’m not kidding.

At the same time, I was constantly tired and didn’t need any excuse to close my eyes for a nap. In fact, I was getting up in the morning, doing the school run with my wife and then that was it. I needed to go back to sleep.

Yes, I was a bit worried about it, but not to the point where I felt I had to see a doctor…

But it turns out it must have been a virus. Eventually it broke into a sore throat, sniffles and a headache. About the same time my mind started to clear up.

Also, my wife now has the same symptoms, which makes me feel better in a perverse sort of way as I know that my problem wasn’t something more serious.

And because we were both in the same frame of mind for a while, some conversations have been a little strange.

The following joke is a good example of what it’s been like in our house.

There’s an old couple at breakfast time, and the lady says “I’d like something a bit special for breakfast this morning.”

“Oh yes dear, what’s that then?”

“I’d like some ambrosia rice pudding please. I know there’s a tin in the cupboard, I saw it there yesterday.”

“Okay, I’ll do that then.”

“I haven’t finished yet. Write this down, you know you’ll only forget it.”

“No, I’m okay, I won’t forget. What else do you want?”

“I also want some whipped cream on top.”

“Okay. Ambrosia rice pudding with whipped cream on top.”

“Write it down, I know you’ll forget what I’ve said.”

“No dear, it’s okay, I won’t forget. Is that all?”

“I bought some strawberries yesterday. I’d like two strawberries on top please.”

“Right! Ambrosia rice pudding with whipped cream on, and two strawberries to top it off. Is that it?”

“Yes. But please write it down, you know you’ll only get it all wrong.”

“No, no, dear. I’ll remember it perfectly well. Rice pudding, whipped cream, two strawberries.”

“Ooh, okay then, if you’re sure.”

So off the old gent goes into the kitchen, and for the next twenty minutes comes the sound of banging and clattering, cupboards opening and closing and so on.

He finally returns with a plate, and on that plate are two rashers of bacon, two fried eggs, and a sausage.

His wife looks at it incredulously, one eyebrow raised, and with a look of total exasperation on her face. Finally she says “See! I knew you’d forget if you didn’t write it down!”

“Wha… wha… what’s the matter dear? What have I done wrong?”

She looks at him and says…

“You’ve forgotten the toast!”

-Frank Haywood