Why would anyone NOT want help from me?
I’ve offered on several occasions to take a look at what people are doing in their internet business that isn’t working for them, and on every occasion except for one, I’ve been blanked.
Why is that?
I think it’s FEAR.
I don’t mean fear, although that is part of it, I mean FEAR.
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
I read about this in Glen Hopkins “Lucrative List Building” quite a while back, and I always bear it in mind just before I do anything.
FEAR used to paralyse me into doing nothing as I was frightened of what people might think or say about me.
But you know what? I’m never going to please everybody, it’s impossible. I realised that as long as I please myself, and “keep it real”, then enough people are going to agree with me to make it worthwhile. And on the upside, those that don’t agree will disappear in time anyway.
(I once sat at a seminar with FEAR stopping me from raising my hand to get my site reviewed by the panel of experts. Someone else got the benefit instead. Madness.)
I’ll just give you three paragraphs from the book, about the draining effects of FEAR. I’m sure Glen won’t mind and after all he’s getting a plug from me and so will make some more sales. 😉
You see, your subconscious mind has a hard time determining whether you’ve actually experienced the failure or just imagined it. Either way, you feel the physiological symptoms of the fear, such as an upset stomach.
Mark Twain explained it best: ‘I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which have actually happened.’
Often we believe our imagined failure will come true, and so we don’t even try to do what we’re afraid of failing at in the first place! That is what makes a failure: a person who is afraid to try because he fears the potential of a negative outcome.
The “POTENTIAL” of a negative outcome.
I choose to believe it’s FEAR that have held people back from accepting my help when I’ve offered it.
Maybe they think I’m going to ridicule them, or make them feel stupid and then tell everyone here on my blog so the whole world can point and laugh – but that’s not the case.
If I choose to offer my help freely, then it comes with no conditions. I’m not by nature a horrible or hard person (unless it’s asked for and required) and I easily empathise with people and often find myself mirroring their behaviour without realising it – I want to be liked, and I guess you do too.
People won’t like me if I’m horrible to them, and I fully sympathise with someone who’s having a hard time in getting things off the ground.
Look.
One of the differences between successful people and failures is the failures give up when they fail.
The successful fail too. But they try again and try again until they succeed. Then everybody says “Ooh! Look how successful she is.”
If you’re going to fail at something, do it early, and do it quickly. Get it over with and learn from the lessons.
Many things you HAVE to do before you can understand them. Learning and theory is great, but it’s only when you put it into practice that it all comes together, and you can then decide which bits of the things you’ve learned are worth keeping.
Let’s face it, most of the theoretical stuff you’ve learned from books or otherwise, you’ve forgotten. But the practical stuff will almost always stay with you for good.
I know people who have spent years learning and never put any of it into practice, and I bet you do too. I’ve done it myself.
Now, if I choose to learn something, I try to put it into practice right away, otherwise what’s the point in learning it?
In closing, if I (or anyone else) offer you some help, or offer to take a look at your sales copy or whatever, DON’T be scared of accepting that help. It may be the one thing that makes a real difference for you.
-Frank Haywood
